WDNBAN? A Home for the Holidays

Today's What's Dish Network Blogging About Now? features "a completely different sort of entertainment show" which was CBS' A Home for the Holidays. As described by DNB (Dish Network Blogger), this special featured a ton of "moving" musical performances by Ricky Martin, Melissa Etheridge, Maroon 5, Nelly, and Katy Perry. So far this just sounds like your average holiday/charity concert, or an awards show featuring musical performances (spolier alert: it is!). There truly seems to be nothing "completely different" about this program at all. Other "performers" included Sharon Osbourne, Julie Chen, Sara Gilbert, Holly Robinson Peete, Mira Sorvino, Maria Jaret Winokur, and Leah Remini. What any of these people did to be referred to as "performers" for this program is beyond me, because I honestly don't care enough to try and watch and/or read anything else about the special. I really don't want anything to spoil this impression that the DNB has set for me. I like it better this way. Apparently inspirational stories of American families and foster care adoption were also featured during the program (aka the whole point of it all). So, it was just another sappy holiday show meant to make everyone who already feels bad about themselves feel even more terrible for feeling so selfish when they really "have it good" compared to these poor folks. You know exactly what I am talking about!

Anyways, aren't you glad you missed the December 22nd airing of this program? If you happened to watch it, I apologize for not warning you about it beforehand. I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me.*

*I just re-read this post, and I swear I'm not as cold-hearted as I sound. I just think this DNB is rather entertaining.

Now all we have to do is just sit and wait...

I understand why CNNmoney is telling us that gas prices are expected to rise to $5 a gallon soon-ish, when, though, depends on who you ask (because the American people must remain informed!). One guy says by 2012, a couple of others say by the next decade. Everything else mentioned in the article is actually just kind of boring. All this stuff on how gas prices are rising and that there's this large American demand for oil. Nothing new, folks. We know our oil situation is pretty fucked and unstable. We've known this for years, and it has been particularly obvious within the past decade, so why not tell us something new for once? There is no need to scare us by telling us gas prices will rise to $5 maybe in a year and a half, or maybe in eight years. What good does that do me now? I mean, think about it... what do they expect me to do, just sit around and wait for the $5/gallon gas prices? I'm already paying over $3 a gallon, and relatively close to $4, depending on where I am, so now I have something even more excited to look forward to, right? Yeah, not really. So, thanks CNNmoney for giving me great hope for the new year. Seasons greetings to you too, assholes.

{via CNNmoney & Fark}

Pet Peeve #4: The their, there, they're conundrum

That's right, this isn't just a pet peeve of my own, but it is a worldwide (read: American) conundrum. For realzies, though. A lot of people have some kind of incapability to properly use the appropriate there/their/they're. I find this irritating and devastating at the same time. It's such a fundamental part of the English language-- something taught so early on-- that this mistake should not exist. If people actually thought about what they're writing before mindlessly spilling their thoughts then there would not be this problem.

Did you catch that last sentence? Did you see how I properly used there/their/they're in one sentence? Well, if not. Go ahead and re-read it. Absorb it. Live it. Love it.

They're= They are. As in, They're going to the movies. (They are going to the movies)

Their= possessive. As in, Those are their apples. (They own/possess the apples)

There= in or at that place. As in, The couch is over there. (Look dumbass, the couch is next to the table)

Exclusive: Twitter defies the laws of mathematics

I suppose twitter was having some problems earlier today, when I went to my page and saw this:

The only photoshopping done to this screenshot is my red markings. I swear it told me I was following negative twenty-three (-23) people. How is that even possible? Does that mean that I was deliberately not following twenty-three (23) people? You know, making a really big effort to completely ignore twenty-three (23) people. I'm definitely going to make sure that I have no idea what the hell those twenty-three (23) people are doing today!

Christmas Surprise (shhh. it's a surprise)

Christmas is supposed to be a time of giving and sharing. We're supposed to be selfless and merry. It's tough, I know, but it's just that time of the year. You just have to buckle down and be happy. Share in the spirit. Share in the good times. You know... everything like that.

In honor of such spirit, I decided to share something with all of you.

(I know, I know. I shouldn't have. But I just couldn't help myself)

This something is not tangible, so don't get your hopes up on receiving some really awesome thing because if you do, it's probably not from me*. (I will, of course, have no problem taking the credit, though) Well. Okay. Back to the point, I suppose. I don't even know how I was going to segue into what it is I am sharing, because I did a really poor, unrelated intro, and now I've kind of just typed myself into a corner. I know it's pretty easy to just delete everything said above and start from scratch, but you know what? It really isn't that easy because then I'll have to think of something else to say. And then I'll probably get distracted and forget the post altogether, and then you may never get to experience this. And that would be a Christmas tragedy, and no one wants that, now do they? Well, I didn't think so!

Anyways, I think I was going to somehow relate the art of the mash-up with the Christmas spirit. Something along the lines of how the music is being shared, or some nonsense that I was going to bullshit. Anyways, I spent all of my Christmas Eve day (read: a few hours) listening to Christmas mash-ups. Good ones, bad ones, really horrendously terrible ones. You, see, I'm not a particular fan of Christmas music. It just doesn't really do anything for me, and I find a good majority of the slow, serious, solemn songs to be downright boring. So, this task was actually a bit tougher for me than say for Santa or one of his elves. I imagine if they got to listen to Christmas mash-ups all day long that they would probably appreciate it- I bet that's what the elves listen to when they're making the toys because it keeps them in the Christmas Spirit, but pumps them up with some funky beats. It's the best of both worlds for all those North Polians.

In no particular order, I most enjoyed these five Christmas mash-ups.

1. Voicedude- Fuck You Santa (Cee Lo Green vs. Jackson 5)

Listen to and download the unedited version here.

2. Mojochronic- Rudolph (You Don't Have to Put on the Red Light) (The Police vs. The Derric Johnson Vocal Orchestra)

Download it here.

3. Voicedude- Black Door or White Santa (Clarence Carter vs. Michael Jackson)

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Listen here.

4. King of Pants- Alala Falala Hasselhoff (David Hasselhoff vs. CSS)

Download here.

5. DJ Zack Darling- Santa Mash! (This is a 56:46 minute mix. think Girl Talk meets Christmas)

Listen and download here.

**A very special honorable mention goes out to Panch (aka Mo' Burr), who mixed this really awesome 17:15 minute Christmas mashup. It's fun, but laidback-- just like Panch.

You can listen to and download Panch, Mo's Mostly 'Decent' Christmas right here. To be honest, if I had heard this yesterday/last night when I was finishing up the post, I probably would have inserted it into the top 5. I'm just very honestly being lazy, and don't feel like having to choose which one goes. So, in all fairness to its later discovery, the mix gets an honorable mention instead of a top 5 spot, though they should be treated as one in the same.

If you enjoyed these mixes, and want to hear some others, click here. Oh whoops. I meant for you to actually click HERE. There's even some songs in there for my fellow tribe members, if you catch my drift. If you're looking for an easy mix to play without having to sort through the garbage, I do recommend just going for the Very Bootie Christmas mixes because they're pretty solid as a whole.

*I am not Oprah.

⁺The amount of times that I heard young Michael Jackson sing "Saaaaanta Claus is coming to town" makes me never want to hear that song ever ever ever again. Way overused in these mash-ups. It seriously just keeps playing itself over and over throughout the imaginarium (what i call my brain/mind/psyche collective).

Happy Xmas

love always,

tgd

What's Dish Network Blogging About Now?

I somehow came upon the great fortune of discovering the Dish Network Blog. This is some seriously outsourced shit. No joke, my friends. It's like reading internet translations. Naturally, this has become my new favorite blog. I hate football, but I read every football game post with vigor that the Dish Network blogger writes. There will be strings of fluency here and there, but for the most part, the blog posts consistently contain sentences, phrases, whole ideas that do not make any sense. In addition, much of the content is poorly worded. I imagine that editing is not in their budget.

On a daily (or as often as I manage to) basis, I will feature some of the more enjoyable blog posts from Dish Network's Blog.

Tonight we're going to start with this entry from December 16th, which attempts to persuade its readers that the San Francisco 49ers vs. San Diego Chargers football game is going to be super exciting. However, I often get the feeling that the writer is a robot or computer of some sort. You know, one devoid of emotion.

While this article is not particularly painful to read, there are a bunch of mistakes that could have easily been avoided if the posts were edited, or even read over just once. Seriously, elementary mistakes, my dear Watson.

• As both the teams are fairly banged up to look their horns on tonight’s game, it is expected to be full of excitement.
  I'm sorry what was that you were trying to say? "look their horns?" I mean, I'm not dense, I do actually get the message the writer is trying to convey, but that shouldn't be my job, that should be the DNB writer's. I'm also not even convinced on the excitement factor of which the writer speaks. There wasn't even an explanation point to show emotion!
• If we analyze the strengths of both the sides, if seems that Chargers are a bit favorite in San Francisco 49ers vs San Diego Chargers game, but you never what’s in store at the end.
  Hmmm. I don't even think I need to comment on this one. Super sloppy work, Rajib.
• However, if you miss it by any chance, as a DISH Network subscriber, you have the opportunity to use your DISH DVR to record the game, which you can watch later at your convenient time.
  Hey guys what time is it? It's your convenient time! Guess that means I should watch that 49ers/Chargers game now.
  
  
  

How are we just finding out about this now?

Science is a pretty crazy thing, don't you think? You know, how it's always changing and everything. One day it's this, the next day it's that. So it's like, what the hell are we supposed to expect today? Oh, those crazy scientists! Well, this fun fact is a lot more useful for your everyday life... but I guess that depends on what your everyday life consists of.*

So what the fuck am I talking about? Well, I'm going to tell you right now.

Best hangover food is honey on toast, and science says so:

The Royal Society of Chemistry claim that the fructose in the honey – which is

also found in golden syrup – is essential to help the body break down alcohol

into harmless by-products.

Serving the honey on toast adds potassium and sodium to the meal which is

also helps the body cope with the alcohol.

(I am very aware that this last sentence kind of makes no sense... it's missing a word or has an extra one, but I didn't write it)

So let's all drink more alcohol than usual, get really blackout drunk, do some crazy shit that we'll never remember, and then have some honey on toast. Sounds strangely like my family's annual reunion.**

{via The Telegraph}

*This is particularly useful for all those alcoholics out there. I know you like to drink, now it doesn't have to hurt so much.

**My family does not actually hold an annual reunion.

How to be a pedestrian: a simple guide on crossing the street

A friend of mine out here in Oakland requested that I write a post on how people in this city do not know street-crossing etiquette. My friend did not suggest the topic as elegantly as I just previously described it, but I'm getting there. Just gotta get myself a little worked up a bit before the sparks start to fly.

First off, it should be known that there are many crosswalks in the middle of the street, not at lights, that privilege pedestrians with the right of way. I have experienced this in other places. At certain street corners where a traffic lights are absent, it is only right to afford the pedestrian with the right of way, because then no car would ever let anyone cross the street. I don't even mind when people cross the street in these places. They're allowed to. They're supposed to. I do it when I'm walking, and expect traffic to stop for me. It's just how crosswalks work, ya know? Of course, you sometimes get the person with no judgement or sense of distance/speed, and they just decide that they want to cross the street at that exact second because they can do whatever they want. They still have the right of way, and if I don't think I'll drive through the crosswalk without hitting them, I'll stop. Yeah, I'm that asshole.

But, pedestrians are assholes, too. Especially around here where everyone takes their sweet ass time doing everything. A five minute walk turns into a 30 minute adventure. My brain has gradually adjusted my concept of time to better suit that of the west coast... but it's still tough.

My point is that some people really don't get the concept that cars drive faster than people walk, and if you're going to interrupt traffic at a place where there are no crosswalks, then you need to be quick. You should be running. No, you should be sprinting. You gotta have some pretty huge balls to be such an overt asshole with the prospect of even possibly causing an accident and/or your own death.

So, back to Oaklanders and their inability to properly cross the street. There are lot of crackheads and disabled peopl in this area. People with bum legs. People in wheelchairs. People tweaking from withdrawal. I am in no way trying to compare crackheads with genuinely handicapped people, but they're all slow movers- that's the point. They also seemingly choose to not even look before crossing the street (perhaps their necks don't move very well?). They're ready to cross, so they put their good foot on the pavement and drag their other one along with them. Seriously. It's that painful. Like, dude, I was just driving 45mph and now you're moseying across the street, unsure of your destination, and interrupting the normal flow of traffic. And there's probably a crosswalk you could have used, so that the cars at least expect that someone may be crossing the street.

I really just can't comprehend any of it. If it is going to take you upwards of 25 seconds to cross the street, then you shouldn't be walking in front of traffic. You should be waiting for the lit up man to tell you when it's safe to cross.

To summarize how to properly and safely cross the street without angering anyone, all you really have to know is:

1. Be at a crosswalk

2. Wait until there are no cars very near to such crosswalk, so cars have time to stop and not hit you while you attempt your treacherous walk across the street (given this is not at a light that tells you when to walk)

3. Walk when the lit sign says it's okay (when you're at a light)

4. Don't cross when the countdown says you only have 1 second- who are you kidding? you won't make it, and you will only further piss off the non-pedestrians.

5. It is okay to cross the street when you don't have the right of way if there are actually no cars in sight. Don't think you can outbeat the car. Yes, they'll most likely stop for you- but you're being an asshole. Why couldn't you just wait the 30 seconds for the light to change? The car gets through the intersection and you get to safely cross the street. I'd say that's a win-win for everyone.

6. If you're a particularly slow moving person, don't make everyone else suffer for your inabilities. Cross when you can, stick to the crosswalks, and don't crazily run into the middle of the street expecting no cars to be around, because that's just silly.

Safe street crossings to everyone!

And apparently everyone is okay with this...

The title of this post is in reference to this article, which discusses how Bridgewater, NJ spent $17,000 on legal and court fees to defend a $5 charge on a resident. Yeah... those numbers are correct. Tom Coulter filed a complaint with the New Jersey Government Record Council stating that he should have only had to pay the cost of the CD* (a recording of a city hall meeting), and not the $5 that he was actually charged. So, to defend their overcharging of City Hall CDs, Bridgewater paid upwards of $14,000 for their own legal fees to defend the case AND paid $3,500 to Coulter for his legal fees AND refunded him $4.04 for the price of the CD.

All Bridgewater had to do was refund the man his money, and they could have saved over $17,000 and a lot of headaches. But, instead, they chose to defend their profits, only to prove themselves as foolish and silly. I suppose this is kind of what karma is like? Regardless, this is what America has become-- greedy, money hungry, and selfish. God bless the USA, right? Well, we could use all the prayers we can get. (and I don't believe in god)

*Who buys a City Hall CD?

Hey guys, check out this stellar new album I picked up. Oh yeah, what's it called? It's called Bridgewater City Hall. It's really post-modern. Like post-post-modern. You gotta really open your mind to get the message it's conveying. Oh wow, that's super heavy, man. Yeah, I know.

Or what if you were going on a road trip with a friend and that's the CD he/she brought with them to play in the car. I imagine that would be the most boring road trip.

whoopsies!

Last week Elie Wiesel was a guest on Fox & Friends. You know how on talk shows when a guest is featured, their name and what they do/have done/ why they're there is displayed on the screen? Well, Fox & Friends kind of messed that one up. Wiesel, who is a Holocaust survivor and Nobel Peace Prize winner, was featured with the description of "Holocaust Winner." Whoops!

Now, I don't think that the Holocaust ever really had a winner. If anything, just millions of losers. Regardless, check out the screen shot below.

Fox & Friends is pretty presumptuous declaring one man the victor of an over ten year long genocide.

{via Mediaite and Fark}

hastily made, but necessary to share

Just like the title says, this is a hastily made blog post, yet I really wanted to show you this video. It goes along with my previous post about The Strokes ruling 2011 and their general awesomeness. After reading the post, my friend Panch sent me this mash-up video of The Strokes' Hard to Expain vs. Christina Aguilera's Genie in a Bottle, "A Stroke of Genius," by the freelance hellraiser. The song features the instrumentals of The Strokes and the vocal stylings of Aguilera. Needless to say, it's pretty good. Pretty damn good.

The video for the song is a mashup of the two songs' videos. However, I do not believe that the mashup artist made the video.

The Strokes will rule 2011

I've really been on such a Strokes kick lately. I simply cannot get enough of them. Even though they haven't released an album in almost 5 years, I don't get sick of any of their material. It all resonates in my brain and makes me crave more, more, more. I think I secretly just want to be Julian Casablancas, but I suppose that's not really a secret any more, now is it?

I saw The Strokes for the first and only time (so far!) this past August at the Outside Lands music festival in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park. I had always enjoyed their music, but never got to experience it live, and since then, I've been more hooked than ever.

So now all I find myself doing is anxiously awaiting the anticipated March 2011 release of The Strokes' comeback album. So far, it appears to be on schedule (finally! since this album has been in the works for years, kept getting postponed due to the band members' solo and side projects). I imagine a truly epic tour coinciding with the album's release. So people, be prepared. 2011 is almost upon is and sooner than we realize it will be March, and we will all be rocking out to the The Strokes' new album.

For the time being, you can enjoy some of these music videos.

New York Pride and Road Rage... strangely similar

New Yorkers are known for their aggressive driving style. Weaving in and out of slower cars. Speeding by the elder. Not stopping for pedestrians. Road rage. It's kind of what we're known for.

Earlier this morning I had to run an errand in San Francisco. On my way back to Oakland, right after merging on to the Bay Brdige, a Red Jeep Laredo started frantically honking at me, then hastily switched lanes, drove up right next to me, and gave me this stare down/point. I was actually kind of terrified. I thought this man was sending me some kind of death threat. I hadn't done anything wrong. I didn't cut him off. I wasn't being the asshole driver I am sometimes known to be. But I was scared. Maybe this guy was having an awfully terrible day?

In desperate need of a lane switchage (the car in front of me was driving painfully slow), I relocated myself to behind the RJL, making sure to keep my distance so as not to further piss him off. Once I was behind the RJL I saw a big old Yankees bumper sticker. This made me giggle and goofily smile. I had mistaken this man's seemingly angry eye contact and point move he made earlier for road rage, when it was actually his way of saying "Go New York!" (I still have my NY license plates).

I gave the the man in RJL a big thumbs up and a smile as I continued to weave through the rest of the slowly moving California drivers.

And, so, New Yorkers are aggressive. Whether they're driving or just trying to share in their New York pride with another, there's nothing passive about any of it.

Best of 2010... blah blah blah

So it's about that time of the year when blogs, magazines, tv shows, radio stations, etc. put out their "Best of" lists. Best albums, Best movies, Best songs, Best moments, Best blah blah blahs. You get it. We all feel the need to prioritize our favorite things from the previous year in order to be prepared for the upcoming year, right? Well, if that's how you feel, then fine. Fine fine fine. I'll make my own Best of List, and I'll show you who's ready for 2011!

In the meantime, enjoy this music video for Mowgli's Road by Marina and the Diamonds.

You Should Watch Glory Daze!

Okay. So I don't think many people know about this really great brand new television show that is on TBS. That's right TBS. Yeah, that's probably why you've never heard of it. But come on, people, Conan is on TBS! And Glory Daze is on right before Conan on Tuesday nights. It's an hour long comedy featuring four kind of different, but all white college freshmen pledging the wildest fraternity on campus... in 1986. While the main student cast does not feature anyone uber-famous*, Tim Meadows does play the recently separated and bitter professor who lives in his own office. Brad Garrett also plays the main character's father, so he's in episodes here and there. He did a fantastic I'm-so-unknowingly-stoned-for-the-first-time scene. While Cheri Oteri plays his mother, she has only been in the pilot so far. Guest stars have included Michael McKean, John Michael Higgins, Andy Richter, and Kevin Nealon.

[Hope you're enjoying that photo attack]

Okay, back to the point... and that is, uh, ummm... hmmm... oh yeah. The point is that Glory Daze is a really great show. It's funny, and even though it primarily features frat guys being all "fratty", it's actually rather smart. Interesting themed parties with sororities, fun pledge activities, and an awesome 30+ stoner who has lived in the house for over 10 years. He's wise and provides the drugs (and laughs, along with his midget sidekick). What more could you ask for from a TBS comedy? Seriously, though. It's a well acted and fun show.

*The main exception I must point out is James Earl. You're probably thinking, "who the fuck is that?" Well, he's the new token fat black guy, that's who. He's the fat black football player in Glee. He's the fat black football player in No Ordinary Family, though he's far nicer in this one. And... he's the fat black guy in Glory Daze. Don't get me wrong here, though, because he is good. Also, Eric Nenninger has a recurring role in the show.

Better Shows Exist

So I somehow got wrangled (aka there was nothing else on and I chose to put it on) into watching many an episodes of Tosh.0.* Now. I have nothing against Daniel Tosh. I've heard great things about him. A friend of mine even showed me a clip of his stand-up one time, thinking I'd really really love it. Truthfully speaking, I didn't really love it. In fact, I didn't even really like it. However, he is no Dane Cook, and thus deserves no harm done to him.

Upon first impression of Tosh.0, it appeared to kind of be like The Soup. He was showing some video clips and commenting on them. This has been done only like a bazillion times. But then there were some sketches thrown in. While I did not find the sketches particularly funny, it wasn't completely unbearable. I imagine that many people will have some issues with me upon my take on Daniel Tosh and Tosh.0, but honestly, I don't really care. We are all entitled to our own opinions, and while you think he's hilarious, I find him a tad pretentious and just a bit annoying. It's one of those "one man's trash is another man's treasure" situations. And like the title of this post suggests, better shows exist.

I rest my case.

*"Many an episodes" really means that the guide tells me there a few more episodes on after the current show playing. It doesn't mean that I will watch them all. In fact, I've already switched the channel to E!'s Kids of Killers special. Much more interesting, if you ask me.

Daft Punk Tuesday

Completely by accident, today became Daft Punk Tuesday. I did not mean to have more than one post about this really awesome French electronic music duo. In fact, I didn't even intend on having one post about them. But the first one happened. And so is this one. So is this one.

Slightly less ridiculous than the previously discussed figurines, this is the music video for Daft Punk's song Derezzed, which is featured in the new movie Tron: Legacy. I'm sure you're already aware of this, but Daft Punk composed the entire soundtrack for the movie. If you didn't know that, well then you must live under a rock. Or in a cave. Somewhere that gets no internet or TV connection, I suppose (but then you wouldn't be reading this, would you?).

And now you don't even have to see the whole movie. That was sufficient, wasn't it?

Can You Imagine?

So I was browsing through Toothpaste for Dinner... this was not what I was thinking about eating. It's a webcomic, people! Gee.

Anyways. I was browsing through Toothpaste for Dinner and came across this comic:

And it really couldn't help but make me think, "Can you imagine?" Now, that's not an unusual question for me to ask (which my college friends can attest to), but, still. What if people started to just play with glitter instead of take acid. They're all like Damn, I can't find any 'cid. No one has any doses, man. I wanna see some cool stuff, but we're just out of luck. His friend suggests shrooms, but he's all like No way man. We're taking glitter. We'll just spread it around the whole room, and shine some lights on it. It'll be wild. Trust me, man. Trust me. And so they put on Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon and get glittered the fuck out of the living room. They tripped for years. (Glitter is so tough to get rid of).

If you made sense out of that, I congratulate you. If not, I understand.

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy= Kanye's Real Life Heaven

Seriously folks, this is what Kanye West has always wanted... to be unapologetically himself. He's fucking tired of having to apologize for saying what's on his mind, and now he doesn't have to. He's Kanye West. He's an asshole. A monster. And everyone knows it. Better yet, everyone accepts it. A lot of people hate him for this. They think he's egotistical. Well, he is. But so what? Just because he's a self-obsessed "monster," that doesn't mean that he can't create good music. Sure, 808 & Heartbreaks is something I'd rather not talk about, but I suppose everyone has their emo auto-tune phase, right? Okay, maybe not. But Kanye did, and he's done with it. He's over it. He's back to his true roots of being an asshole, and that's why you have to, at the very least, appreciate My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, which opens with the stunning Dark Fantasy, which features a more than pleasurable introduction by the ever present Nicki Minaj. She's EVERYWHERE these days. Her and her ass. But seriously, even if you don't actually enjoy his music, you can't deny that it's good... and that's all I'm trying to say.

Anyways, check out Kanye's new album.

Here are a few tracks to enjoy.

Kanye West- Dark Fantasy

To be honest, I got very distracted from posting other tracks.* So, enjoy this one, and look for others if you like it.

Nicki Minaj's ass

*I'm high.

Pet Peeve #3: Uggs and Mini Skirts

I genuinely do not know where to start when it comes to wearing Uggs with mini skirts. There is really just so much wrong with the whole concept that it's warm enough to wear a skirt that barely covers your ass, yet it's cold enough to wear winter boots. Yeah, boots you wear in 30 degree weather and even colder. Boots with shearling lining. And might I add that there is the whole portion of your leg that remains uncovered. I like to refer to that unclothed leg area as the Freezing Point because that is the point where you remain freezing. If it's cold enough for Uggs, then you should be wearing pants. End of story. If it's warm enough for a mini skirt, then it's way too hot for winter boots. Whether you opt for a sandal or a closed-toe shoe is your own personal choice, but I imagine that if it is warm enough for a mini skirt, then it is also warm enough for flip flops.

As you can see, this issue is very closely related to the socks with sandals dilemma. Some people just don't understand the whole weather-appropriate clothing thing. So I'm just here to help you all out.

*While searching for a wonderful picture to complement this post, I came across many a photos with the red "no" circle (you know the circle with line through it, meant to mean "NO!"). So, obviously, I am not the only one who feels this way (this is not very surprising, but remains relieving). Some of these pictures are just those of uggs, sans the mini skirt, but I am focusing on its pairing with mini skirts.

i really like this song

The aforementioned song of my liking is of course "About My Girls" by Dominant Legs, a San Francisco-based band. The song is mellow and contains some nice harmonies. Honestly, I don't have much else to say about it, so listen, and enjoy (or not).

Also, the Houses remix is worthy of listening.

http://stereogum.com/604062/dominant-legs-about-my-girls-houses-remix/mp3s/

So, you can check out both versions above, from Stereogum.

This is what I imagine dominant legs would look like:

This is what Dominant Legs actually looks like:

Daft Punk Figurines do Exist!

Casually browsing the Daft Punk website, just wanting to see if there was any news on the possibility of an upcoming tour, and instead, this is what I was brought to. They're showing me figures of Daft Punk. What am I supposed to do with these? Hold my own concert for Barbie, Ken, old WWF wrestlers, and the original power rangers? (Yes, these are the figurines my parents keep in hopes that one of their four children will ever have a child of their own)

For only $55.55 (plus shipping, tax is included in this price) you can get this:

They even come with instruments!!!

Needless to say, this is the ONLY information on their website. And, in case anyone is unsure as to what Interstella 5555 means, it is a reference the Japanese Animated musical film of the same name. This film was a "visual realization" of Daft Punk's album, Discovery.

After more careful research on the original subject matter (when can I see Daft Punk live?), I came across some articles discussing exactly that. Apparently. Daft Punk is planning on some really awesomely major tour for 2011-2012. In fact, "the Managing Partner and Head of of Music CAA, which represents Daft Punk, said he expects 'the film soundtrack [Tron: Legacy] and tour will lead a dance music juggernaut worldwide. This is going to be the biggest tour of next year.'"

This is also going to be a stadium tour, so I hope everyone is adequately prepared for this amazingness.

{via Miami New Times}

Youtube > MTV

I used to kind of hate that MTV and VH1 stopped showing music videos. That they became crappy reality TV and pop culture vehicles for the masses. Slowly over the years, each of these stations pretty much stopped playing music. Music went from being in the forefront, to the background, to being virtually nonexistent.* However, I don't see this as such a bad thing any more.

The internet has taken over the music video realm. Artists debut their videos on blogs, their own websites, etc. There is far less censorship involved in music videos, so artists can materialize their artistic visions more purely. They don't have to worry about bleeping or editing. Artists have more freedom to express what it is they are trying to express. And, I love it.

Take the Scissor Sisters' newest video for Invisible Light for example. This video would not be allowed on television the way it exists online. People would be furious and offended. Now, the rest of us don't have to suffer along with the thin-skinned and close-minded.

*Exceptions apply to CW shows that have actually increased their musical budget. They play indie, more "trendy" music, and even make note of telling you the artist and song titles at the end of each episode. This phenomenon is most widely credited to The OC, which truly put music at the forefront of a show that had nothing to do with music at all. The various volumes of soundtracks introduced pop-going-teens to indie pop rock and alternative California-based bands. The movie Garden State did something very similar.

Even Uglier

What you're viewing above is a Google Ads ad for Crocs Tone. Yeah, I said... Crocs Tone. Think sketchers shape up in a lighter, more plastic version. I know you thought that ugly probably couldn't get any uglier, but Crocs has proved us all wrong. Seriously, why do you do this to me? Why? Why? Why?

I know you're already on Zappos ordering your pair because you're gonna get them tomorrow and get free shipping. Oh. What's that? One in every color!?! Slow down there, bud. You gotta pace yourself for all that toning that's about to happen.

So What?

You're probably thinking, "So what... what?" And I have an answer to that for you... So what if my dream lifestyle is that which is portrayed by Sarah Silverman in The Sarah Silverman Program.

I mean, she does nothing, but is never bored. She doesn't work. Her sister pays her rent. She is never in need of money. No one and nothing stop her from doing whatever ridiculous antics she can think of. She gets to hang out with a dog all day. Even after all of her crazy antics, there are no consequences. Nothing bad happens. No worries, no cares. Just straight living.

I have a hard time admitting this out loud. Most people take pride in working hard. They actually get some kind of satisfaction out of waking up early, working all day on something they probably don't care too much about, and then being too tired to want to do anything else. Actually, these people usually aren't too tired after it all. No. They're energized and ready for a night of drinking. That lifestyle makes me want to crawl into a ball and die. It sucks the life out of me and I want to do nothing else but sleep and ignore the world.

Naturally, the carefree lifestyle of not working and being completely responsibility-free is super appealing to me. If someone was willing to support you for the rest of your life (no strings attached) would you do it? Gosh. A Sugar Daddy with no expectations of sex is my dream guy. :::siiiiigh:::

Check out some of these clips from The Sarah Silverman Program to really understand what it is I strive for.

The Sarah Silverman Program
Supermarket Sweep
www.comedycentral.com
Funny Jokes It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Ugly Americans

Sarah's only motivation to get a job was when she thought she was retarded; this way it made her feel empowered. Amen, sister.

The Sarah Silverman Program
HIV Test
www.comedycentral.com
Funny Jokes It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Ugly Americans

Most people don't know that I get an HIV test whenever I'm feeling kind of blah. It's really quite the pick me up.

The Sarah Silverman Program
Swinging High
www.comedycentral.com
Funny Jokes It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Ugly Americans

So many great ideas mashed up into one clip. Pretty self-explanatory if you ask me.

Baby, YOU'RE a hot mess

Because I'm really great at starting something, giving up, picking it up again only just to give up, I thought I'd give the blog another try. I'm terrible at the follow through, so here goes nothing. I feel like I don't even really have anything to say through my marijuana fueled haze that I've been living in. I know. It sounds rough, but I'm managing.

I want to change the name of this thing, but something worthwhile currently escapes me. So, for now, West Coast Wonders will remain. I don't know. We'll see what happens.

Since this has all been a lot of nothing, I'll leave you with some good tunes to enjoy. I'll begin reallocating my abundance of free time toward random internet musings so that I can share them here. Deal? Deal!

Chromeo's Hot Mess

Now, check out the redux version of this song featuring Elly Jackson of La Roux. You can listen and download it right HERE.

Also, check this out. It's Sam Sparro performing his song Hot Mess live on some Danish radio show. It's a completely different song, but they're both great, so enjoy.

Pet Peeve #2: Winter Vests (Vests worn for warmth)

Hi everybody. My name is tgd... and I hate vests.

Phew. There. I said it.

Particularly winter-type vests. You know, the ones that people wear to keep them "warm." However, your arms are not covered. I know, I know, I know you wear a sweater or some other very heavy long-sleeve item underneath the vest. So why the fuck don't you just wear a jacket?!?!?! You know, those vest-like items... but they have sleeves. To a certain extent, I can understand the vest that is for fashion/style purposes, they've really grown on me over the years, but you will never find me wearing one... not even as a joke. However, I don't think I will ever understand the winter vest, or whatever you want to call it (see below). You can state your case and argue all you want, but I fully believe in jackets, coats, anoraks, etc. If it has sleeves, it's probably for me! That's a general rule I like to follow.

Why I Wouldn't Mind being in a psychiatric hospital...

*

Who doesn't love a good and comfortable robe?
I mean, honestly, if given the chance to wear a robe all day everyday, who would say no? I sure as hell know that I wouldn't. So, while watching an episode of Lie to Me from last season, I decided that psychiatric hospitals really aren't all that bad.**

You get to talk about yourself all day long, you can pretty much say/do whatever you want because everyone already thinks you're crazy, you're forced to get high off of pharmaceuticals, you don't have to work, you get to hang out and watch tv and play some games- maybe get some outside time and go for a leisurely walk, and you get to wear a robe all day long.

That actually kind of sounds like my current living situation, minus the being forced to get high part, of course. No one's gotta force me to smoke anything, except especially crack.

*Just to reinforce the fact that psychiatric patients do not actually wear such plush robes... I could not find a matching picture on this damn information highway anywhere. Perhaps it's the pot combined with my desire to continue the Lie to Me episode that is stopping me from further exploring the topic.*** (Also, look how creepy that child mannequin is)

**I understand that my impression of psychiatric hospitals from fictional television is not an accurate portrayal of what psychiatric hospitals are like in the real world. Please just keep in mind that I consciously choose not to live or actively participate in such "real world."

***Now everyone knows I'm a bum.

THIS is not good for my fear of crocodiles... or for Captain Hook

I had to read THIS article over and over again just to comprehend what happened. I'm still in a bit of shock and disbelief.

So this is basically what happened. Someone snook a crocodile on to an airplane. This person hid such croc IN their bag that was on the plane with the passengers... not in cargo with luggage. I know. You can already tell how bad this is going to get. Just as the plane was making its descent into Bandundu (The Democratic Republic of Congo) from its capital of Kinshasa, the croc magically escaped out of the bag it was being stored in, and naturally caused all kind of panic and ruckus within the plane. Everyone freaked out and ran to one side of the plane... the cockpit, I believe. Thus, the plane was brought off balance and crashed into an empty home just near its final destination. Yeah. That's pretty much exactly what happened. If I heard the video right, 20 out of the 21 passengers died. And that 1 survivor was not the croc smuggler (who was hoping to sell it?). Whatever happened to the good ol' days of smuggling drugs on to planes. You know, stick a little coke in your vagina, a little heroin in your anus. Maybe swallow a balloon of something... but a crocodile? WHY? Those things are scary and viscious. Even the croc survived the crash. Though, when going through the plane remnants with a machete? (I imagine machetes are used more often than we imagine in Africa) the crocodile was caught in such mess and killed. The one crash survivor promptly told investigators this whole entire story.

Anyways, you can read the full article HERE. And I, of course, must thank Geekologie for bringing this craziness to my radar.

Mix Tape of the Week: Random

I decided to compile a list of 5 songs and share it with You on a weekly basis. Thus we have "Mix Tape of the Week." These songs may be new, old, rock, indie, electronic, hip hop, anything really. They can be from 5 different artists, or 5 songs from the same artist. The possibilities are endless. This is the first MTOTW. Enjoy. Feel free to let me know what you think.

1. Acceptable in the 80s- Calvin Harris

"i've got love for you/ if you were born in the 80s, the 80s/ i've got hugs for you/
if you were born in the 80s, the 80s/ i'll do things for you/ if you were born in the
80s, the 80s/ i've got hugs for you/ if you were born in the 80s/yeah"

2. Take One for the Team- Kanye West (f/ Keri Hilson, Pusha T, and Cyhi Da Prynce)

"she can't clean/ but i bet she got a vacuum mouth"

3. Sun Demons- Stereolab

"sitting at the corner of the heart of paris/ noting the relative common lack
of movement/ where is the noise, confusion, bustle, and hustle/ that one
would associate with the big city?"

4. Lovers Play Dead- Drink Up Buttercup

"the lovers play dead. they dig their own graves. funeral invitations are sent. the
attendance drops every time they die cos everybody knows that they're not really
dead. the lovers play dead, they hop in their graves, no priest to say rest in peace.
time passes by they crawl their way out, they say 'how silly of us'."

5. Art Isn't Real (City of Sin)- Deer Tick

"i am still hanging round and round/ sometimes it's a racket/ but lately not a sound/
in the bowels of history and time/ i have learned to stay back and never shine/ now
i feel stupid when i smile/ for not a journey, but a circus are our lives"

Pet Peeve #1: Socks with Sandals

I'm going to start off by saying that socks with sandals are never acceptable. Ever. I think it's a terrible idea, and unsure why anyone would consider it, and don't even tell me because your feet are cold because that's what closed toe shoes (sneakers, clogs, boots, etc.) are for-- covering your feet! In fact, just about all closed-toe shoes require socks to be worn between your feet and the shoe (unless you want them to smell and be gross). Thus, socks and shoes go together. Sandals, on the other hand, were made for warmer weather, you know, when your feet will not get cold if you're not wearing socks. Many sandals have pieces that go in between your toes (i.e. the flip flop), as well, making it impossible to comfortably wear socks (given it may ever be acceptable to do so in the first place, which it is not). Naturally, bare feet and sandals go together; they were just meant to be. So, if your feet are cold enough to put socks on, do not be a lazy fatass and just put on sneakers, or whatever your preference of shoe may be. And, to spare everyone the aroma of your sweaty feet, wear socks when you wear sneakers.

Socks and shoes. Barefeet and sandals. Got it? Good.

Oh. What does 134 tons of marijuana look like? Just ask good ol' Mexico.

Sooooo. Mexico did the biggest marijuana bust in what they believe to be all of Mexico's marijuana-busting days. However, they don't know the exact record that was previously set (it must change so often that it's hard to keep track). Yet they insist that it has to be the biggest bust. I mean 134 tons is A. LOT. So, I don't doubt it. But it is Mexico.

All of the soldiers who were transporting the bales of marijuana from the tractor trailers to the burning site (I know a lot of people who would have paid to attend that) were wearing masks. Like SARS masks. As if they were going to contract some kind of reefer madness if they inhaled the plant material, which is not toxic. They stacked the 134 bales into the greatest wall I've ever seen. And then they burned that motherfucker down. They said it would take 2 days for the burning to finish. 2 days of burning marijuana. And, probably all of Mexico smells a lot fresher.

You can watch the slideshow from which the pictures above were "borrowed" right HERE.

And, you can read the full New York Times article right HERRE.

If I die from a brain aneurysm or a heart attack, here is why...

I love California. I'm happy I moved. I know it was the right choice. However, there is one part of California that I can absolutely not stand... not even a little. It drives me absolutely nuts. CALIFORNIANS CANNOT DRIVE. It's a fact. I've informally conducted research and it's unanimous. Worst drivers ever. Everyone is in their own world and completely unaware of the fact that anyone else might be on the road. No one signals, and cars just magically float into the next lane-- almost seemingly as if the driver was unaware that he/she switched lanes. Also, California drivers have no concept of when they have to let someone by... they don't get that when I have to get over the 4 lanes to get to the highway I need to be on, and I have my signal on to let you know this is where I need to go, you need to move over, slow down, or speed up. They're all so oblivious. I have seriously never experienced so much frustration and anxiety while driving. Also, back to the point that Californians are in complete La La Land while driving is that they all make sudden decisions- like NO ONE KNOWS WHERE THEY'RE GOING... ever! All of a sudden, you're cut off without signal by someone driving 20mph less than you, and then they just turn, also without a signal. I seriously don't get it. I don't know how any of these people passed their road tests.

I think what bothers me a lot about this is that any Californian I have spoken to about this issue, is 100% aware of how bad they are at driving... and no one seems to care enough to do anything about it. They're just all like, "yeah Californians are terrible drivers." And that's that. They have accepted it and moved on.

Other than innately recognizing Californians' inability to signal when doing anything, this one driving incident had me so scared to drive here. It was dark, yes. And, yes, the driver was a very old woman, in a car filled with equally as old people. She probably could barely see over the steering wheel. Upon making a left turn on to a two-way street split by an island (making it 2 one way streets in opposite directions), the car in front of me turned on to the wrong side of the island! Yes. Driving down a very long stretch of road on the wrong side of the road. I was frightened for this driver. So scared that a car would come speeding down the road and just collide with her. So I drove with her, so to speak. Dropped my speed down to 15mph, and drove along the right side of the road next to her... making sure she was aware she was on the wrong side of the road and that she needed to be really, super cautious. Luckily, the one car that did come driving down her side of the road, saw her, and drove in the other lane. Then we were stopped at a red light. Super nervous me. However, everyone else recognized she was on the wrong side of the road, and when the light turned green, everyone just let her go.

I have driven with aggressively speeding New Yorkers (the true assholes on the road). I have driven in snow in Maryland (where they don't know what the fuck to do when that happens). I have driven in snow and rain in Michigan (who also have no idea how to drive when the weather is a little messy- yes, even in the snow. Every snow, there'd be at least one car in the ditch on the side of the highway). But this. This is the worst I have ever experienced.

I was doing some interwebs research about this topic, and consistently found that based on people's opinions of either those who have visited and driven in California, or those who live in California, pretty much agree that Californians are pretty terrible drivers... maybe the worst. However, there's some test that some company gives to the states or something to see who are the worst drivers. California ranked 4, with New Jersey and New York as 2 and 1, respectively. However, this is simply based on whether people know technical rules of driving, not if they are actually capable of driving. So yeah, maybe New Yorkers don't follow all the rules and are very aggressive. BUT, they know how to drive in various weather conditions and can manage to speed and weave throughout traffic without getting into accidents. In fact, New Yorkers have the tendency to actually signal when they are going to switch lanes or turn.

Well. That's my rant.

Le Origins of Le Sigh

So I've seen more and more recently the use of "Le Sigh" by people online. They're bored, sad, feeling a little melodramatic, whatever, and they express this with "le sigh." I have no problems with this at all. In fact I think it can be rather "cute" or something. Whatever. However, I don't think that most people are aware of the origins of this term. Contrary to popular belief, some super geeky emo blogger did not create this term. Perhaps it was some geeky emo blogger who first started using this term in the blogosphere- though I cannot confirm nor deny this. But I can confirm that the origins of "Le Sigh" is that of the one and only Pepe Le Pew cartoons. Yup, the Looney Tunes cartoon. Well, to be more accurate, it was actually from Merrie Melodies. I do have my overgrown child as a mother to thank for this knowledge. My mom loves these cartoons, so naturally they were a pretty large part of my childhood. In fact, as strange as this may seem, my mom used to pretend she was Pepe Le Pew going after me, her pussy cat. What? It's not creepy. I was little. It was cute. It was a game my mom and I played. No funny stuff. You're just gross.

Anyways, here is a classic Pepe Le Pew cartoon featuring the infamous "Le Sigh."* It's featured in the first 45 seconds of the clip, so no need to watch the whole thing if you don't want to, but I, of course, recommend that you do. This is Mel Blanc we're talking about!

*While searching for the perfect clip, I found that there are tons of these cartoons on youtube and daily motion. Didn't realize how readily available they are.

best direct-to-video movie? maybe!

Okay. So usually movies that go direct to video (or, I guess DVD) are usually pretty terrible. Sometimes they're awesomely bad. Sometimes they're just down right disgusting. However, I found one that is actually good and entertaining. It's certainly not the best movie ever, but I enjoyed every minute of it. I watched it via Netflix Instant Queue, where I have actually found some other good direct-to-video releases. So, the movie I am referring to is: SPRING BREAKDOWN.

This movie stars Parker Posey, Amy Poehler (in all of her greatness), and Rachel Dratch as three 30 somethings who never quite got college (or life) right. So, when Posey's character is assigned the task of watching over the Senator's (Jane Lynch! )daughter and her friends (Amber Tamblyn, Mae Whitman, and Sarah Hagan) during Spring Break in South Padre, TX to assure she doesn't do anything to ruin the Senator's chance of being named Vice President, the three of them decide to go together and do Spring Break the right way. Naturally, funny business ensues, blah blah blah. Additionally, there are some great appearances by Will Arnett, Seth Meyers, and Missi Pyle. Needless to say, how can this not be a great film, right? Well, it was received very well by critics, so I think I've done enough to convince You to watch this movie.

Still unsure? Watch the trailer: